Memorable quotes for
Step Brothers (2008) More at IMDb Pro »

Dale Doback: Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!

---

Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!

---

Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker!

---

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

---

Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

---

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

---

Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it's like Fergie meets Jesus.

---

Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap, and now you lay this shit on me?

---

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

---

Brennan Huff: [to Dale] You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!

---

Brennan Huff: Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth.

---

Brennan Huff: Eat shit Derek!

---

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've traveled five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

---

Dale Doback: [both waking up from dreams on top of each other] Oh no, I'm late for school.
Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips, Kenny Rodgers.

---

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!

---

Brennan Huff: This wedding is horse shit!

---

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

---

Dr. Robert Doback: Rock the fuck out of those drums, Dale.

---

Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds?
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want.
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever!

---

Alice, Derek, Dr. Robert Doback: Fucking Catalina Wine-Mixer!

---

Alice: Stay golden, Ponyboy.

---

Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.

---

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!

---

Dr. Robert Doback: One day my father just said, "Goddamn it, you're seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!"

---

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

---

Sporting Goods Manager: [after Dale finishes his very prolonged fart] Was that a fart?
Dale Doback: Yea...
Sporting Goods Manager: I can taste that one... is that... onions and ketchup? Now I'm starting to realize the tuxedos are kinda fucked up.

---

Randy: Pow!

---

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

---

Brennan Huff: I'm so scared right now. I'm just gonna to do what's sensible, I'm gonna file for unemployment. Then I'm gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they... *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

---

Dale Doback: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hos.

---

Brennan Huff: Holy Fucking Santa Claus Shit!

---

Brennan Huff: [mowing lawn, dressed as Nazi] Hey Derek, sprechen sie dick?

---

Nancy Huff: What the fucking fuck?

---

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

---

Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?

---

Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

---

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Oh.

---

Dr. Robert Doback: [about his dream to be a dinosaur] So I thought, I'll be a doctor for a little while... and then go back to that.
Brennan Huff: How is that even a skill?

---

Derek: You can have some dope parties on this lawn.
Second Homebuyer Husband: You don't have to talk like that. You can just say it's nice.
Derek: Nah, that's how I talk. Look at this door, it's fresh.

---

Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
Brennan Huff: I was watching Cops.

---

Brennan Huff: I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!

---

Brennan Huff: Hey Derek? You know what I hear is good for shoulder pain?... You lick my butt hole.

---

Dale Doback: [Brennan is burying Dale in the garden] But I'm still alive!
Brennan Huff: Shut up! You'll wake the neighbors!

---

Dr. Robert Doback: When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world, I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared, everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said "Bobby you are 17, it’s time to throw childish things aside" and I said "OK Pop", but he didn't really say that he said that "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job".

---

Dr. Robert Doback: You have one month to find jobs or you're out on your asses. I will arrange interviews for Monday and you will go!
Dale Doback: Dad, why are you talking to me like this? I'm your son.
Dr. Robert Doback: I'm not buying that crap anymore!

---

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?

---

Related Links

Plot synopsis	Plot keywords	FAQ
Parents Guide	User comments	Trivia
Goofs	Main details	IMDb quotes browser
Search quotes section
Browse titles with quotes by letter    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other